Four Hags and a Keg of Beer
by Yokel
Summary: Mace Pink Sabre and Count Chocula realize their mutual love for poetry, when suddenly darthykins comes in to disturb their budding....friendship..If it wasn't for those meddling kids..


Scene#

DV pours coffee into straw leading to radiator-like muzzle

DV- Where is Chocula?

Snooks- Well, he's gone away with Pink Sabre

DV- Oh, fantastic, why did he do that?

S- He enjoys his company

DV-Eh?

S- They've taken the next step

DV- Oh, you mean the walk of fame?

S- They are together now.

DV- Oh, I get it, I really do

S- Kindly reiterate

DV- They've entered the annual 'lets build something grossly oversized annoying and pointless float competition

Snooks (groans and writes something down on piece of paper) Go and look that up, there's a good boy

(DV returns with a traumatized expression on his face)

DV- He's left the dark side. He chosen love over evil doing, how could he betray us like this, I'd never do that!

(Snooks snaps fingers and crystal ball appears, he consults in and falls about laughing al the irony of it all)

Scene #

Chocula is sat in his summer pad on the moon. It has large windows and is decorated with Chocula's usual brilliant taste.

(Enter MPS)

(Chocula looks up from newspaper emblazoned with the headline 'Cure for the common cold still eludes Scientists.'. Folds it and smiles invitingly at MPS)

CC- Yes, love?

MPS (smiles and unwraps scroll)- Um, hi, the senate has ordered that I, Mace Pink Sabre H.t.B.f.T.l.c.R.p, must assassinate one Count Chocula, he is supposed to be instantly recognizable by having the best haircut around and a garish interior/

CC- That would be me.

MPS- Oh cool, (looks around) you know this isn't _too_ bad. (Rummages around in bath robe like costume) Alas! (hold up broken pink plastic lightsabre-holder) Holy Hovercrafts, I've lost my lightsabre and this snazzy lightsabre holder does not even have a guarantee!

CC- Billowing Blasters! Don't worry, you can borrow one. The lightsabre stand is in the hall, be a good chap and go get me one too.

(MPS fetches lightsabres and tosses one to CC)

CC (Switches Lightsabre on) Oh, orange, cool. Let's fight.

(Fight in an half-assed sort of way.)

(CC checks watch)

CC- Can we stop for tea, its five, and us Britons must feed our need with the special weed from the land of those of asian creed.

MPS- Oh, you like Brustilda Biggleton too? My favorite poem of hers is 'Five Lightsabres and a Piece of String'.

(Sit down. CC uses lightsabre to conjure up teacups)

(Continue discussing what B.Biggleton's fans consider her cerulean period)

(Tea runs out)

MPS- Oh well, back to work.

(Fight slowly)

CC- Do you… fancy something to eat……..because…em…I've

(Enter DV wearing black silk PJs and eye mask saying 'evil)

CC- Hi Darth (murmurs 'This is my boy' apologetically to MPS)

DV- (rubbing his eyes) Chocula, I had a really bad dream last night, I dreamt that that evil man Obi Wan had gone and taken my blanky away.

(Notices MPS standing in corner desperately trying to clean the tea stains out of the tea cups)

DV-Oh no! Jedi Scum come to kill the Count! NOOOOO!

(Slow motion. He runs (With exaggerated arm movements) and begins to open window. Struggles with lock. Meanwhile MPS is advancing with arms outstretched in a zombie like manner in front of him. At the last moment the window opens and DV picks up MPS and throws his out of the window)

CC-Why did you do that, eh? Always interfering, corrupted Jedi's these days…

(DV doesn't listen, he rings service bell and yells 'Door Attendant'.)

(enter Door Attendant)

DV- What the bloody hell (cut to Yoda reeling over ledge into pool of lava) did you think you were doing, letting any random Jedi tramp wander in to kill is Excellency?

DA- Well you know, he checked out ok. He was quite handsome, told me he was a whiskey salesman, I though the Count would appreciate him

DV- Your so-called whiskey salesman was no other than Mace Pink Sabre, the most feared of all the black Jedis, maybe even because according to my Star Wars fact file (consults fact file) he is the only one.

(DA looks bored and mutters- 'You should know, Jedi boy, you were in his class at do-goody school)

CC- (in daze) Didn't he look like Samuel L Jackson. (sighs)

DA- I know didn't he? I would play strip-yu-gi-oh with him any day.

(DV rolls eyes and walks off. )

Scene#

MPS falls out of window, hits the ground as they are on the 1st floor. Is picked up by obvious theatrical cables and flies along.

MPS- Ah well, this is it...Goodbye cruel world.

(Hits giant float)

MPS- Oh, I'm alive! Wow, what a conveniently placed..um..what is this?

(Looks up at loads of randomly placed floats)

Float Man (wearing florescent orange suit)- This is the random, oversized, meaning-less, float festival

MPS- Does this mean there are hot dog stands around here?

Float Man- Pathetic mortal, you are only worthy of an answer once you have cracked the code of the Floatmasters, their ways, their speech. You shall be trapped here forever if you do not conform to criteria and built a random, oversized,

meaning-less float! Muhaha!

(MPS does wacko sign, buys hot dog and wanders around thoughtfully.)


End file.
